Tabula Rasa
by The-Slayer-And-Key-Of-Dagon
Summary: What if Willow spell didn't make everyone forget who they were? What if it did make the summer Buffy died become forgotten? Only it didn't work on the person she was hoping it would. Rewrite of the episode Tabula Rasa.
1. Forgotten

**Summary****: What if Willow spell didn't make everyone forget who they were? What if it did make the summer Buffy died become forgotten? Only it didn't work on the person she was hoping it would.**

Buffy had no idea what happened. She was telling her friends about how she was felt about being ripped out of heaven until suddenly Dawn fainted and fell to the floor. Buffy had run over to check on her sister. She moved her hands down the young girls wrists to see if their was still a pulse. To her relief, she could feel a slight pulse.

"Giles, we have to get her to the hospital." Buffy told her former watcher. Giles nodded and grabbed his keys off the counter. Buffy picked Dawn up and carried her in her arms. She looked down at her sister and felt tears form in her eyes. As she ran to the vehicle, she thought of all the horrible things that could have happened to her sister. Giles open the side door of the car. Buffy laid Dawn down in the back seat of the vehicle. She glanced over and saw her friends looking over at her with worry.

Xander was the first to speak. "We'll meet you at the hospital, Buff." She nodded at them and climbed in the front seat of the vehicle. Giles walked around the car and opened the driver's door. He sat down in the seat and quickly pulled the keys from his pocket. He shoved it in the ignition and twisted it. When the engine started up, he place the gear stick into drive before he slammed his foot down on the gas. Both Buffy and Giles sat in silence the drive there. He could see that she was nervous and on the verge of a breakdown. As he pulled into the hospital parking lot, he looked over at the girl he had known for six years. He gently place a hand on her shoulder. She raised her head and looked up at him. She had tears shinning in her eyes.

"She will be okay, Buffy." Giles tried to soothe even though he could tell it wasn't helping. She didn't say anything. Instead, she opened the car door and stepped out. She grabbed her little sister and carried her to the hospital ER entrance. As soon as she enter, one of the nurses rushed over to her.

"What happened to her?" The nurse asked as she down at Dawn.

"I... I don't know. She... She just fainted." Buffy stumbled over her words a bit as she tried to tell the nurse the situation. The nurse told one of the other nurses to get a stretcher. A few seconds later, a brown-haired woman came up to them. She pushed the stretcher up to Buffy. Buffy set her sister down gently on the stretcher. The brown-haired woman called out for a doctor. A doctor who was in the area looked over and saw the situation. He rushed over to Buffy and then looked down at Dawn.

He turned to look at the nurse and asked her,"What happened?"

"They don't know. She just fainted." One of the nurses started to push the stretcher down the hall. Buffy not wanting to leave her sister followed behind. The doctor glanced over at her. It seemed as if he had just noticed her.

"Does she have any medical issues?"

Buffy shook her head. "No. At least none that I know of."

The doctor began to ask more questions. When they got close to the employee only area, he asked Buffy to stay back. She started to argue but was stopped when Giles put his hand on his shoulder and told her not to press the issue. They sat in the waiting room and watched the doors to see if the gang would show up. After about ten minutes, she saw Willow, Xander, Anya, Tara, and Spike walk into the E.R. entrance. As soon as they spotted her, they quickly went to greet her.

"So, whats the deal with the Dawnster?" Xander asked. Worry was clear in his voice.

"I don't know. They brought her back a few minutes ago." Buffy answered. She stared at the clock wishing it would go by faster. Maybe then she could figure out what was going on. After another ten minutes and small talk, the gang heard a loud smash. They looked over to the bleach blonde vampire. They had clearly forgotten his presence in the room.

"Dammit, shouldn't the bloody idiots be back now? It shouldn't be that hard to find out info?" Everyone stared at Spike. They were confused at his outburst. It seemed as if he actually cared what happened.

Xander looked at him in revulsion. "Why the hell are you still here anyway? It's not like you care about Dawn anyway, dead boy."

Spike angrily marched over to him and pulled him out of the chair. "Don't tell me I don't care about Little Bit. I was there the whole summer if you've forgotten." He growled and let go of Xander. He ran his hand through his hair and turned to walk to the other side of the room. More silence filled the room as they waited for information Finally, a different doctor than before came out and called for Summers.

The gang quickly stood and walked over to the doctor.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Johnson." He introduced himself. "Which one of you are the guardian?"

Buffy raised her hand and told him,"That would be me. I'm her sister."

"Well, Ms. Summers, your sister is still unconscious. I wish I could tell you that we knew what happened to her, but at the moment we can't come up with anything," Dr. Johnson told her, "She seems like a healthy teenage girl."

Buffy tried to stay positive and hopeful. "So, how long will she be out?"

Dr. Johnson hesitated. "We... we don't know exactly how long she will be unconscious."

Buffy nodded. "Can I see her?"

He gave her a small smile. "Yes, you may, but one at a time. We don't want the room being crowded."

Buffy took a deep breath before made her way down the hall.

* * *

The room was small with white walls. She looked over at the hospital bed and saw her sister lying in what looked like a peaceful sleep. Monitors were hooked up to her. She slowly walked over to the bed and grabbed her sister's hand. Buffy felt fear over come her. It was the first time that she felt this since she came back from the dead. She felt the fear of losing her sister.

'_Dawnie, please wake up. I'm sorry I haven't spent time with you'_ Buffy thought to herself _'Please just wake up.'_

Buffy thought about the times she spent with her sister. Even though she knew most of the memories were fake, it still felt like they were real. She remember the time when she was fourteen years old and Dawn had sneaked into her room and read her diary. She was so mad when she saw her sister laying on her bed flipping through it. She literally grabbed her and threw out. She also thought about how she told Dawn that marshmallows were actually monkey brains. Her sister didn't eat them anymore after that.

Buffy's thoughts were brought to a halt when she felt a tug on her hand. She looked down at her sister and saw that her eyes were fluttering open. Her sister slowly looked around the room and took in her surroundings. As soon as her eyes landed on Buffy, she began to ask questions.

"Buffy, you're here? I thought I'd never see you again. Please... please don't leave me." Dawn rambled on until Buffy stopped her.

"Calm down, everything is okay. I'm not going anywhere." Buffy tried to keep her sister from getting riled up.

"Everything is not fine!" Dawn face turned to fear as she noticed that she was sitting in a hospital bed. "Oh, no! We're in at the hospital? Did Glory do something?"

Buffy felt the breath leave her body as soon as she heard Dawn say Glory.

She slowly looked at her sister as if she was studying her every move. "Dawnie, what's the last thing you remember?"

"I was standing on top of the tower... and you were with me. You... you were going to jump off the tower. Everything gets fuzzy after that." Dawn looks up at her tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I can't remember anything else."

Buffy sighed and said aloud to no one in general."Oh, boy."


	2. Home Again

Dawn looked up at her sister with a confused expression. She couldn't figure out why she was sitting in a hospital bed. The last few things she remember involved her bleeding on top of the tower and seeing Buffy almost jump to save her. However, now, she was in the middle of a hospital with no idea what happened. She tried to focus all her energy into figuring out what was going on, but it was like a fog was blocking her view of seeing anything else.

She noticed that her sister was pacing back and forth in the room glancing at her worriedly.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Dawn asked.

Buffy stared at her and hesitated to answer. "Dawnie... There's something you need to know."

Dawn gazed at her impatiently. "Get on with it."

Buffy thought carefully about how to word the situation. She didn't want Dawn to panic.

"The battle with Glory... it happened about a few months ago." Buffy watched as Dawn's eyes grew wide.

"What do you mean it was a few months ago? I remember it just like it was yesterday." Suddenly, Dawn looked around the room quickly. "Oh, no. Have I been in a coma? That's the only way to explain why I'm in a hospital. Please, tell me I wasn't in a coma."

"You weren't in a coma. We were at the magic shop today and you fainted. The gang and I brought you to the hospital. You've only been out a few hours." Buffy tried to keep Dawn from freaking out.

Dawn was still not grasping the concept. "If I fainted, then why can't I remember anything?"

"I don't know. Look, I'm going to go get the nurse and tell her you're awake. I'll be back in a minute." Buffy started to make her way to the door but stopped when she heard her sister's small scared voice.

"Don't leave me." Dawn eyes were wide with fright as the words flowed from her. "I don't want to be alone."

Dawn knew that she shouldn't be afraid, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Glory was still after her. After all, the last thing she remember was begin held against her will by the hellgod.

Buffy realized why Dawn was scared. She made her way to the bed side and took hold of her sister's hand. She squeezed her hand and softly looked into her eyes.

_"Dawn,_ you don't have to worry. Glory is dead. There is no way she is going to hurt you." Dawn eyes shifted to the floor as she nodded silently. She knew that her sister would protect her no matter what. Buffy took this as her cue to go. She spared her sister one last look before she went to find the nurse.

* * *

"Miss Summers, I understand that you are worried about your sister, but I insisted that it would be in her best interest if she stayed the night in the hospital so we could watch her." Dr. Johnson told Buffy.

"Look, my sister is pretty wigged about the situation. I honestly think it would be better for her if she was at home in her own bed ." Buffy gave Dr. Johnson a look that told him that she was not taking no for an answer.

He sighed. "I can't keep you from taking your sister home. Please, though, bring her back tomorrow for a check up."

Buffy nodded. "Don't worry, I'll bring her back tomorrow. By the way, thanks for helping."

He smiled at her and walked away to go deal with other patients. Buffy made her way back to Dawn's room. She found her sitting on the hospital bed fiddling with her thumbs.

Dawn looked up and gave an exasperated sigh. "About time you got back. I've been waiting forever."

She stood up from the bed and fixed her shirt. "So, can I go home?

"Yeah, but we have to come back tomorrow for a check up. Also, you've got school tomorrow. So, no staying up late." Buffy gave her a pointed look.

Dawn eyes went wide when she heard the word 'school'. "School! I have no idea what classes I have. I don't even know where the classes are anyway."

Buffy had forgotten that. "Well, tomorrow is Friday, so I guess it won't matter if you miss. I call the school this weekend and get your schedule."

"Great. I totally was not looking forward to that." Buffy rolled her eyes at the teenager's excitement and motioned for her to come. Dawn followed behind her as they made their way to the waiting room where the gang was waiting. As soon as she saw Spike, she rushed to hug him.

"Oh my god, Spike. I thought I would never see you again." Dawn gasped.

Spike raised his eyebrow. "I saw you a little while ago, bit." He noticed that she had tears in her eyes. "Hey, no need to get all emotional here."

Dawn shook her head and held him tighter. "I saw you thrown off the tower and I thought that maybe you-"

She was cut off by Tara. "What do mean thrown off the tower?"

Dawn looked at her with wide eyes. "Tara, your... you again. I thought you were all, you know, crazy."

Everyone in the room was confused. Buffy realized that the gang didn't know that Dawn couldn't remember the past few months.

"Um, guys, Dawn's sort of having some memory problems. The last thing she remembers is being on top of the tower."

Giles stared at the younger Summers. "What do you mean she can't remember?"

Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "All I know is that she fainted and now she can't seem to remember anything about the last few months."

After a few moments of silence, Willow spoke up. "Do the doctors know what caused this?"

"No, they want me to bring her back tomorrow. Something about checking up on her." Buffy told them.

Willow nodded her. She reached into her pocket and felt the stone that she used early for the spell. She thought that maybe Dawn's memory issues might have to do with the spell she did early, but she didn't want to tell anyone that. She knew that they would get mad at her, especially Tara. She couldn't deal with that at the moment. Willow vowed silently that she would fix problem without anyone finding out.

"Well, I guess that we should head out. I'll see you guys tomorrow." Buffy said.

"I'll drive you home." Giles told her.

Buffy gratefully nodded and motioned for Dawn to follow her.

* * *

Buffy watched as her sister ran up the steps to their home enthusiastically. Dawn flung the door open and stood in awe. She felt an overwhelming sense of happiness. Tears swelled in her eyes as she took in her surroundings.

She turned and smiled at Buffy. "I thought that I would never be standing here again."

Buffy genuinely smiled back at her sister. It was one of the truest smiles she had given since she had been brought back.

"Nice to see you're happy and all, but you need to get some rest. We got to get up early to so we can get to the hospital." Buffy informed her.

Dawn stuck out her lip and prepared to argue. "It's only nine o'clock."

Buffy sighed and put her hands on her hips. She was about to tell her sister to not argue, but the front door open and in walked Willow and Tara.

"Hey, why are you two here?" Dawn asked.

Tara looked at Dawn confused about why she was asking that, but then realized that she didn't know that they lived her.

"Oh, you don't know. We live here now. Ever since..." Tara trailed off not wanting to end that sentence.

Willow, Tara, and Buffy shared a knowing look. Dawn noticed this a gave them a suspicious look.

"Ever since when?" Dawn stared at the three other women intently.

Buffy was the first one to speak up. "It's nothing. Don't worry about." Dawn wasn't convinced.

"I'm serious. Now, come on, you need to get some sleep." Buffy told her sister.

"Okay. I'm going to take a shower first, though." Dawn gave one last look before she went to head up the stairs.

"So, do you think we should tell her about... you know. You dying and all." Willow asked Buffy once she saw that Dawn was out of sight.

Buffy looked at the two witches and gave a weary sigh. "I don't know if she could handle it. She been a little freaked out about the memory thing anyway. I don't know if she could deal with knowing that I died and was gone for a whole summer."

Tara and Willow nodded. They knew that if Dawn found out the truth that it would destroy her. They couldn't deal with watching her go through that kind of pain again.

"I agree with you but don't you think you should tell her. I mean... It would be better to tell her yourself instead of her finding out on accident. Remember what happened when she found out she was the Key." Tara voiced her opinion.

Buffy thought about what Tara had said and decided that she was right. If Dawn found out that she had died by accident, it would be worse than her finding out that she was the Key.

"Your right. She has the right to know. I'll wait until tomorrow to tell her." Buffy told them.

"You should also tell her about Giles leaving. So, she doesn't freak out when she notices he is gone." Willow said.

Buffy nodded. "Okay. I'll let her know. Right now, though, I think we should get to sleep and deal with everything else in the morning."

Buffy headed up the stairs. Tara was also about to go up but was stopped by Willow.

"I think I'll stay up a bit late. I got homework I need to finish. It might be a little while." She told her girlfriend.

Tara gave her a strange look, but said nothing. Willow waited until she was out sight and went to the living room. She pulled the black stone out of her pocket and study it.

'_I figure out how to reverse the spell_' She silently told herself.

* * *

Dawn sat on her bed. She stared at everything in her room. A few things had been replaced but other than that everything seemed the same as she remembered. She had a few dirty clothes sprawled out on the floor, but other than that her room was clean. She stood up and walked over to the light switched. She turned them off.

The room was completely dark except for the light that poured in from the window. She slowly made her way to her bed. Once she reached it, she pulled the covers up. She lied down and felt her head fall on the pillow. Her eyes seemed to adjust to the darkness. She stared up at ceiling. All the previous of the events seemed forgotten as she lied in silence. Now, she was left alone with her thoughts. She couldn't avoid them anymore.

She closed her eyes as she tried to force the memories away.

_Glory stood up and glared at her. She gave her a menacing look and marched over to her. She grabbed her throat and pulled her up in the air. Her eyes sparkled with anger. "We do this now!" she says._

Dawn turned over in the bed uncomfortably.

_The Doc looks at his watch. Suddenly, Spike appears behind him. She calls out for him. The Doc turns and looks at him. They begin to fight. After a minute, the Doc pins Spike's arms behind him. He throws him off the tower. She yells out for him._

She squeezed her eyes shut.

_The Doc is standing in front of her. He pulls out a knife and grins. She cries out in pain as the knife cuts through her skin._

Dawn felt tears fall down her face. She reached up and wiped them away. She knew that if she went to sleep that she would have nightmare. She decided to go to her sister for comfort. She stood up and walked to the door. She opened it and looked down the hall. Everything was silent. She slowly made her way down the hallway and stopped in front of her sister's bedroom door. She hesitated to open it at first, but finally she put her hand on the doorknob and twisted it. She pushed the door open and silently walked in to the bedroom. She made her way over to her sister's bed and stood beside it. She leaned down and tried to wake her.

"Buffy?" She grabbed her shoulders and shook them. "Please wake up."

Buffy moaned as she opened her eyes. As soon as she could make out her surroundings, she noticed that Dawn was standing in front of her. She saw tears streaming down her younger sister's cheeks.

Buffy immediately sat up. "What's wrong?"

"I couldn't sleep." Dawn stated quietly.

Buffy motioned for her to sit down beside her. Dawn held her arms around herself as she sat down. She turned to look at her older sister. Fear was written all over her face.

"Do you have nightmares?"

"Yeah, everyone does." Buffy said.

Dawn looked to the floor. Buffy knew that something was wrong with her and she needed to find out.

"What's wrong? Are you having trouble sleeping?"

"Whenever I close my eyes, I see Glory. I see her smiling at me in such a twisted way that my insides turn. I also end up back on the tower and the Doc... he's there too. He holding the knife in front of him and smiles. I never felt so afraid in my whole life than I did when he... cut me." Dawn's voice broke as she said the last two words.

Buffy felt her heart break at the sight of her sister in so much pain. She reached out and grabbed her sister's hand.

"It's okay. No one is going to hurt you again." Buffy tried to reassure her.

"Can I sleep with you tonight? I'm scared that I might have nightmares."

"Of course you can." Buffy pulled the covers up for her. As soon as they were both settled, they stared up at the ceiling.

The silence was broken after a few seconds. "Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming after me. I don't really know all that happened that day on top of tower, but you came. That's all that matters." Dawn told her.

Buffy felt sadness overcome her as she thought about that day. The day she died for the second time. Except this time, she was actually dead. Then, her friends resurrected her because they thought that she was in some hell dimension, but she wasn't. She was in heaven. Her friends ripped her out of the one place she had ever truly been happy. Now, she was alive again and everyday felt like hell to her. She had to force herself up in the mornings when she woke up. It almost seemed like there was nothing left. There was only one reason that she had to keep going, though. _Dawn_._  
_

She was what motivated her each day. She had to make sure that she was safe, because she was the only thing in her whole life that felt right. The one thing in all the hell she lived in that was still innocent.

Buffy turned over to look at her sister, and in that moment she realized that she would have to be strong. Not just for herself but for Dawn.

"I'll always come for you. No matter what."

A few minutes later, both Summers sisters were fast asleep.


End file.
